An Injury or Rebirth?
It’s 6:50 am, and there I am, tying my groovy white platform Converse shoes when, out of nowhere, a "pop!" echoes from my right knee. I attempt to stand, but my knee rebels, stuck at a stubborn 90-degree angle. The soccer player in me can't help but chuckle, whispering, "I told you not to give up on working that butt of yours!" Panic creeps in – I've got the studio to open in less than 40 minutes, and I can't walk or drive. What now?
Despite my best efforts to find a replacement for my shift, I hit a dead end. So, there I am, facing the dilemma of showing up injured. Luckily, my husband steps in, getting the green light to start work late, and he becomes my loving chauffeur down the mountain. As we navigate the winding roads, a rollercoaster of emotions takes over. Pain, gratitude, anger, fear, hope, and positivity – they all make a guest appearance, turning the car ride into a whirlwind of feelings.
As discomfort attempts to assert control, my open heart resists with unwavering determination. I sense the team player within me taking charge, urging me to clench my teeth and fulfill my commitment at work. I felt a reassuring whisper embrace me with resilience: “Life's unexpected challenges might catch us by surprise, yet within us lies limitless strength that propels us forward! You got this!”
After the chaos at work subsided, there came a moment when I found myself immersed in profound gratitude. I realized I was in the ideal place to navigate such discomfort. Surrounded by multiple healers gracefully moving in and out every 45 minutes, one particular healer caught my attention with his kindness. Sensing my distress, he offered his assistance.
I sat with him in the studio room, and I embarked on a journey of breathwork techniques as his hands delicately touched specific points along my spine. In this vulnerable space, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, I initially felt awkward. Yet, I had to release the fear of being seen as less than my best in an open setting. It was a moment of pure surrender to welcome in greater healing. After being held for about 10 minutes, a palpable release of energy washed over me. The healer posed an intriguing question, "Are you open to healing quickly?" Pausing for a moment, I replied with a firm "Yes," though the question felt somewhat unusual – naturally, I wanted to expedite the healing process…why was he asking me this?
Around 2 pm, I left the studio, and my husband, wearing the weight of this unexpected event on his face, picked me up. Grateful for his nurturing efforts, he promptly took me home to the couch, where I spent the next five days immersed in deep stillness. A complex blend of powerlessness and empowerment enveloped me. I kept thinking about the question the healer asked me. “Was there a part of me that didn’t want to heal?” Not only was my knee injured, but the wisdom tooth on my right side also decided to announce its presence. The pain from both areas became overwhelming, resulting in migraines and episodes of throwing up on and off for days. It felt like a purging, signaling the end of a karmic cycle, especially since this was all happening during the Wolf Full Moon.
Today marks the eighth day since I've been unable to fully walk and operate my life as “normal” and this uncomfortable experience continues to unveil its truths. Perhaps, my journey can ignite a spark of hope for you amidst the mountains you may be facing. In the grand tapestry of existence, while our individual stories may differ, we are all interconnected, navigating the complexities of life here on Earth as spiritual beings, having a human experience. What is becoming increasingly clear to me, I share openly with you below, as always take what you need and leave behind what you don’t.
Regardless of the titles associated with my name, at my core, I am simply Maya—a human being. I've grappled with the weight of expectations, pressuring myself to achieve a brand of success that doesn't resonate with my beliefs. Now, I'm in the process of redefining success on my own authentic terms. Deep within, I recognize that time is a construct, and despite the objections of my logical mind to my vision of success, I am choosing to direct my energy toward trusting the unknown rather than fearing it. (*Here's a fascinating tidbit: from a spiritual perspective, knee injuries symbolize pride, ego, and fear. As I turn my focus inward, I ponder on what my knee is trying to convey. Where can I infuse more ease, flow, compassion, and understanding into my life?)
When someone starts unloading their emotions onto you, our default setting is to take it personally. However, if we take a pause and remove ourselves from the situation, we'll realize that it has or had nothing to do with us. That person is merely expressing themselves from a specific state of mind in that moment. Do your best to send that person love and compassion for they are only caught in their own limitations.
A mustard seed of love is still love. Therefore, stand resilient with every seemingly "small" effort you put into living authentically, as nothing in life is ever wasted. Remember: change begins at a micro level first.
